Business Dining Etiquette Tips & Table Manners Advice Q & A
Q. – Pass to the left or right?
I am hosting a client and her husband to dinner at our house and I was wondering in what direction should food be passed around the table. Is there a dining etiquette rule for this and is it the same table manners for restaurants?
– Lefty Wright in Victoria
A. – Dear Lefty
Serving dishes a matter of life and death?
This table manners rule started centuries ago as a matter of life and death. In the bad old good-old days, the lords of the manor were armed and servants weren’t. If you unexpectedly served a dish to your master from his right side, you ran the risk of jostling his hand as he reached for his goblet of wine.
Sorry M’Lord
Not only might you interrupt his drinking and carousing but you might spill his drink and this was the days before servant unions and dry-cleaning. Wine and blood stains were hard to get out of frilly white cuffs.
If you were lucky
Uh-oh, so spilling his lordship’s drink, might only earn you a slap, if you were lucky. (If you weren’t lucky, it might terminate your employment and terminate you!) Thus serving food from the left became the safest way to avoid problems and possible death.
So how should food be passed
So nowadays restaurant servers usually serve food in from your left and remove it from your right. When passing food around the table, diners should follow the same rule; passing to the person on your right. In other words the food should move anti-clockwise around the table whether at a restaurant or at home.
What if someone passes a dish in the wrong direction?
Now that you know which direction should food be passed, what if? What do you do if someone passes a dish in the wrong direction? Draw your sword and… no no, just accept it and move it along. (And be glad we live in more civilized and egalitarian times.)
Bonus Tip
BTW a classy touch is to hold the platter to allow the other person to serve themselves then give them the plate to do the same for the next person. (For more dining etiquette tips and tutorials attend one of our public seminars or view our Wall Street Journal #1 rated online dining training.)
Hi Joanne and Terry,
Last night I attended a fundraiser dinner. I found out that many of the charitable donors sitting with me were oblivious in terms of what bread and butter plate to use. I decided to communicate to them in ‘Style for Success’ sign language. Using my forefinger, index finger and thumb of my left hand to form the letter b for bread & the forefinger, the index finger, and the thumb of my right hand to form the letter d for drink, they were amazed on the simplicity of solving this mystery. I also introduced them the acronym, ‘B.M.W’. Bread, Meal/Main, Water’.
Great John. Thanks for passing on our “b and d” bread plate on left dining etiquette tip. You could also give them this website with a great dining training program that we know and love. 🙂
Hi Joanne and Terry,
I am a frequent visitor to your site. Reading your blogs has become a favorite pastime of mine. You could say I am a ‘Style for Success’ ‘Groupie’.
Your blog posted Aug 09, 2010 ‘Canadians Cuss More Than Americans’ reminded me of a conversation I had with a woman named Maureen. Maureen is an executive secretary for a very large law firm. Maureen and I were discussing chivalry and how the use of it in many cases has become nonexistent. Anyways Maureen was telling me that one of the criminal lawyers in her office had a lengthy discussion with one of his client’s. The lawyer stressed to his client that on his trial date, it was extremely important that when he goes before the judge he must use what are called, ‘Magic Words or Phrases’. Some of the most common ‘magic words or phrases’ used are ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, ‘I’m Sorry’ and ‘You’re Welcome’.
We should all be slowing down and taking time to acknowledge someone or something and use these ‘Magic Words’ more often.
Thanks, John. Good manners at the table and in court go a long way influencing others’ judgements of us. Maybe even whether we stay out of jail!