A great book led to my new year’s resolution.
Whenever I discover a new author I want to devour everything else they have ever written. I just finished reading The Book of Negroes, a superb novel by Canadian author Lawrence Hill (stay tuned for Terry and my review). This led me to another of his books Black Berry Sweet Juice, an exploration of race and identity, nonfiction that reads like a novel.
Nature or nurture?
Like Lawrence, I sometimes felt out of place in Canada (because I was born in Italy). So I too have always been interested in personal identity and how your family, place of origin and race can influence your perceptions of self and your place in the world.
Self-esteem and hair
A chapter titled Hair Issues explores how something as seemingly superficial as hair can have a bearing on our self esteem and image and affects how we feel about ourselves and shapes how others see and respond to us. (Hair tips are explored in my Jan. 21 Brand New You workshop for women)
Moved me to tears
Lawrence relates an incident about a little 3 year old girl’s hair that moved me to tears. Her parents are of mixed heritage – her dad is black and her mom is biracial. One day a white friend of her mother comes over for a visit and the little girl is fascinated by the woman’s long smooth hair. Since the little girl’s hair is always worn in cornrows and braids she asks if she could comb out her hair and the women agree to do this.
Speak in haste
As they unbraid and comb the excited little girl’s hair, it springs up and becomes kinky. At that moment her father walks into the room and says “ What are you doing, taking her hair out? She looks like a brillo pad!”
Repent at leisure
The woman visitor then describes the girl’s reaction. “The little girl’s face fell. I have never seen anything like it. It fell and she just sort of touched her hair. I don’t even think she knew what a Brillo pad was; but she knew her father didn’t like the way she looked. He found her ugly. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen.”
My New Year’s resolution tip
This reminded me that our words are so powerful. They have the ability lift us up or to sting and their consequences are felt long after they are spoken. Have you experienced their sting or have you ever spoken in haste and regretted the end result? We all have. This year I’m going to make a resolution that before I speak, I’ll ask myself are my words true, are they kind and are they necessary? Take just a nanosecond then speak from your heart.
Wishing you kind words and all the best for the new year!
Posted by Joanne Blake – the personal image and etiquette expert
All people should unite to stand against racism in any form. Reading books like the Book of Negroes or Roots made me more aware of American and Canadian history but also how much more alike all human beings are in their hopes, aspirations and shared humanity. Kindness and respect is due to all.
So black people all across this country are uniting. They must unite, and they must organize themselves.
Thank you so much for all the great information. I truly appreciate what you offer here. Your advice is uplifting.